Laura Haddock for Esquire

A blind man and his seeing-eye dog come to a busy intersection. Ignoring the high volume of traffic zooming by, the dog leads the man right into the thick of it. Horns blare as panicked drivers try desperately not to hit the pair. They reach the other side of the street, and the man pulls out a cookie and offers it to the dog. A passerby says, "Why are you rewarding your dog? He nearly got you killed!"

The blind man says, "To find out where his head is, so I can kick his ass."